Food Fight!!
Wednesday, September 9, 2009 at 5:32PM in New England, opinion
Lunch time in the high school cafeteria. It started just like every other day.
Everyone divided by groups: seniors through freshman, the popular kids, the jocks, the punk kids, the smart kids, etc. Lunch seems normal. Nothing exciting ever happens.
I hear a small commotion, and look up as a piece of food flies overhead. Suddenly, "scraaape!" Every single chair in the large room pushes back from each table.
Everyone crouches at the ready. We look like animals preparing for the kill, except that we're already holding a piece of food. The silence is deafening--the once loud lunchroom now feels like the eye of a storm. It seems like minutes pass, but it's only a few seconds until someone screams
the two. Magic. Words.
"Foooood Fiiiight!"
That's all it takes for all hell to break loose. Food is flying everywhere. I'm just a freshman, and I don't want to get pummeled with food (and don't want to wear anyone's lunch, either), but I want to make sure I can still see, because who'd want to miss this? I quickly back up and skirt the edge of the cafeteria to get a good spot. The gates were thrown down when it started, so there was no
getting in or out. Did they think other kids would want to join in? Or maybe they were just containing the war to one spot. I watch as lunch trays sail like frisbees across the room. Every kind of lunch food imaginable is taking flight. I see milkshake cups fly like torpedoes and burst open on
impact. Extremely satisfying, and freaking hilarious! I think one kid is wearing a slice of pizza on his head.
The vice principal, who I don't like anyway, stands up on a lunch table to try to calm the food storm. I hear someone say, "Mr. Adams!* Look out for that...oooooh!"
Too late. A milkshake torpedo right upside his balding head. I have to admit, that was awesome. A few seconds later, he takes a lunch tray to the head. Ouch! Bet he wishes he wasn't standing on that table right about now. Us? We're pretty happy he was standing there at that moment.
All too soon, it's over.** The cafeteria is a mess! Everyone gets thrown out of the lunchroom, either to go to class or home to change. Those stupid enough to get caught will be dealt with later. The news is spreading around the school faster than you can say Food Fight. And I was lucky enough
to be there and see the whole thing. It makes a great story, and one that I still remember to this day.***
So how long did this whole thing last?
Less than a minute. Seriously. But you know how they say time slows down when stuff like this happens? It's true! I saw so much, and all in such a short amount of time. It wasn't a blur--it was like my eyes my brain were working together to catch every single moment.
The funniest part? It must have been a very slow news day, because our food fight made a national newspaper.
The moral of the story? Have fun with your food! Just not in school. ;)
*Name changed to protect Mr. Vice Principal
**Kids, don't try this at home. In no way do I advocate food fights. Unless you're outside and you have dogs to clean up after you.
***Yes, this really happened.
Reader Comments (13)
HA!! Love this :-D
Hysterical! Great write up ... memories of the all-mighty cafeteria and the innocence of those school days quickly came flooding back!
OMG... what a hoot! Great story! LOL
I cracked up laughing at the first photo and thats before reading the text!
Ha ha! Yes, they happen in a blink of the eye and yet can do so much damage and seem to last forever, but it's only a minute.
LOL- national news, huh? So funny.
lol, very funny.
Oh, that is too funny. You totally had me cracking up. That's the sort of thing you think only happens in the movies.
Good one, Elle! :)
Ha! What a fun post!
Man, I wish I had been there...on the outskirts... Good times!
What's not funny about food fights at school is when you're the principal and you have to call all the parents and supervise the students completing their community service. But I loved your story ; )
Haha! What a great story! We never had food fights at my school... I wish I'd gone to yours!