What is society telling our little girls?
Friday, May 14, 2010 at 11:36AM in opinion By now, I’m sure a lot of you have seen the video of the sweet little seven and eight year old girls dancing to Single Ladies, by Beyonce. I was going to embed the video here in this post, but you know? The more you look at it, the more you realize it’s like kiddie porn. So I’m just going to link to it. I’ve watched it twice--once yesterday for the first time, and once today so I could write about it. I was more skeeved out today, seeing it again.
Here it is, in case you haven’t seen it: Link to Video I can’t even give the link a clever name, because all that springs to mind are terribly snarky titles. I don’t want to undermine how hard these little girls must have worked to learn that routine. They really worked their butts off, I’m sure--and good for them! They obviously have a lot of determination and talent. And if you can’t bring yourself to watch, here’s a still photo:
I do, however, have to take issue with the parents of these little girls. LITTLE GIRLS. SEVEN years old. What kind of parent brings their sweet, innocent little girl to dance class, sees this unfolding before their eyes, and doesn’t say “Hey, whoa! Wait just a minute! They’re just kids!”
My daughters went to dance classes. I saw what was going on. I knew exactly what dances they were learning for recitals and what songs they were using. I knew ahead of time what their costumes were going to look like. This wasn’t long ago, either. They’re only 13 and 15 now. Have times really changed that much? I remember when their costumes were feathery chickens, pink tutus, and modest little (full!) bodysuits with a few sparkly sequins and tap shoes!
Can I get a big WTF? It blows my mind. Blows my mind, people! You can go to Good Morning America and read an article about this--some of the parents were defending the whole thing. A couple of the statements really stand out:
"This is taken completely out of context," Cory Miller, father of one of the girls, told "Good Morning America" today. "The girls weren't meant to be viewed by millions of people."
Out of context?? What context should we take it in? It’s a dance competition, not a strip joint! Weren’t meant to be viewed by millions of people? Suuuuure. I’ll bet at least one (if not more) of those parents was thinking “Can’t wait to see how many You Tube hits we get for this!” And by the way? Look what happens when you try to see this on You Tube! Even THEY are keeping a cautious eye on this one.
Statement #2 from the same parent:
"On behalf of the parents, our best interest is for the kids," he said. "Just know that the kids are doing something that they completely love to do. They compete in dance competitions ... in front of family and friends."
I don’t think this guy gets what “best interest is for the kids” means, do you? Sure the kids love to do it! Dancing is fun, you moron! It’s free expression, it’s getting into the music and letting loose and having a good time! But seven year old kids shouldn’t be dancing like that! What kind of message are they getting? That it’s ok for little girls to gyrate and grind like that? In front of adults??? And by the way, did you hear the crowd cheering them on? WTF is wrong with these people? YES--the girls are very talented dancers. I’m not arguing that point at all--they’re awesome. But let them be innocent for a few more years, for fucks sake!
Oh and this gem? “They compete in dance competitions…in front of family and friends…" Don’t forget the child molesters and kiddie porn lovers that troll the internet and You Tube for juuuust this sort of thing. I’m scared for their children, imagining all the creeps watching that and enjoying it way too much.
Don’t even get me started on their costumes. “Hello, Frederick’s of Hollywood? Yes, we need some slut wear for a small group of seven year old girls. In red and black, with thigh high stockings. Oh, and can you add a small black tutu to the hot pants so it still looks little girlish? Thanks!” Gah!
Little kids need to be little kids. Those girls should be running around at the playground and playing follow the leader or tag or playing with dolls. Something that little kids do. I just don’t understand the thought process behind parents that slut their girls up to parade out in the world. Little girls don’t have the judgment to say “I don’t think this is right for me.” That’s what parents are for. WE have to look out for them, and show them that their body isn’t something to wiggle and jiggle in front of the other kids, and any adult that happens to be in eyeshot.
Listen, I’m no prude, and as a parent? I think I have a very open mind. But it would be a cold day in hell before I’d send my daughters the message that they were put here to be eye candy or boy toys. We’ve taught them that they’re worth more than that, along with respect for themselves. And to my sons, my husband and I are drilling the message home: always respect girls, and respect others.
It’s a tough world out there, and our kids need all the help they can get.
Thoughts?
Elle | Print Article | Share Article | Email Article | 28 Comments tagged Beyonce's single ladies, dance, opinion, society
Reader Comments (28)
Right on, Elle! This quote, "The girls weren't meant to be viewed by millions of people." Uh, dumbass, anything on video these days is viewed by millions of people. I've always said that show Toddlers & Tiaras is like televised child porn too, this comes in right along with it.
Thank you for weighing in on this, Jodi! The kiddie beauty pageants are just as bad. It's sickening!
I completely agree. I agree so much that I stumbled this post. You're right on...not acceptable, and I don't want to contribute to the mania by watching it any more.
Megan, you're right--it is unacceptable. Kids need to be kids, period. Thank you for the stumble!
Wow - I just watched the video and I am speechless. The dancing is great, and those little girls clearly worked very hard -- but those costumes are beyond inappropriate. I don't care if it is just in front of family and friends, and not even on the internet -- it's still completely disgusting. Why can't they let little girls be little girls???
I'm not a prude by any means either but Matt & I are shocked by the amount of what we like to call "Ho Baby" clothes in the store for little girls these days. I don't know how little girls these days have any sense of self esteem these days with the role models they have & the expectations to be "sexy" Yeah, sexy at 7! When will be start praising little girls for being smart, sporty or anything but pretty.
I saw this a few days ago and the disgust I felt can't be measured in words. How could any parent use any excuse to have their little girls dressed like they should be standing on a street corner? They should feel ashamed and embarrassed they subjected their child to this. To have kids in dance can be a wonderful thing and they're all so talented, but to have it displayed like this is just sickening. I'm so disappointed for the kids, the hard work they put into the routine and their obvious talent could have been used in a better way.
This is pimping kids, and those condoning it should be ashamed.
I could not agree with you more. I saw the video yesterday and was speechless. I could not believe all the hoots and hollers from appreciative parents in the background while these little girls were "dancing." The lyrics of the song and Beyonce's video is nothing short of sexual. For the dance teacher, choreographer and parents to think it is anything other than that is completely ridiculous.
I don't have kids but as an aunt of young girls, I am appalled and I am also no prude. This is a complete manipulation and misdirection of their stellar talent. A winning routine could have easily been choreographed to show off their considerable skills that was age appropriate and entertaining. And don't get me started on the costumes (or lack of them). Choosing an over sexed routine to win a competition is teaching them that tired old (and disempowering) adage "sex sells" leading them to believe early on that's how they will get their edge on the competition. Wrong message. Creativity in ones approach and hard work are two of the most important components for success. It would be curious to find out what these girls will think of this video when they view it as adults.
You are 5000% absolutely right on target Elle! I could only watch part of this video, I was so disgusted! Thank you for speaking out.....
I had not seen this until now. I think that parts of the routine is adorable, but so MUCH more of it is incredibly inappropriate. There is no way my daughter would every where a burlesque style costume and do those "moves". Those little girls did not know any better and did what they thought was fun, but their parents did. What piss poor judgment on their part. I bet ya Beyonce wouldn't let her own daughter do those gyrations.
This is really over the top, and completely tasteless. I hate that girls are taught from such a young age, through seemingly innocent things, like dance class, that showing off your body is what gets you recognition. Appalling.
You know, the whole world of competitive dance seems very bizarre to me. I've heard of people having 7 and 8 year olds in 4 or 5 different dance classes a week and spending thousands of dollars on competitions and outfits.
I think dance and other activities are wonderful for children, but why so intense, so young? I can't help but think there is a lot of pressure on dance teachers to one up each other and we wind up with things like this.
I can imagine for every parent and teacher who is taking this to heart and thinking, you know what, we are crossing lines and we need to take it down a few notches, there are others thinking WOW, 3 million views! How can we top this?
Horribly inappropriate. In the words of my hubby "what parent ALLOWS that?"
How do you (as a parent) watch your child practice these moves (both at home and at the studio) get fitted for that so-called "costume" and say NOTHING? My response would have been "not only NO......but NO EFFing way!" And we'd be going to a new dance studio. Yesterday.
I'm giving you a big WTF, my friend. :) My husband and I haven't had kids yet and I worry about it for these very reasons.
Elle, you are so right! This is just disgusting. I wonder why parents want their kids to grow up so fast, sometimes maybe I err on letting my kids be kids too much. But, hey, they can only do it once. right?! WTF is up with this world!!!
Great post. This was appalling. I couldn't watch the whole thing. It reminds me of those creepy little kid "beauty" pageants. ugh.
While I think it's great that these little girls love dancing, it's too provocative for their age group. I wonder, though, if it's a particular mind-set that some parents have, and by this I mean the "pageant moms and dads." If you're on the outside of this world looking in you can't possibly understand the reasoning behind this attire and this is where worlds collide. And it is a shame because the routine would have been just as cute and fun had they been wearing something like baggy jeans and a cute tee.
I think its very sad the pressure that is put on woman and young girls these days thinking that sex sells and being more provocative brings success.
Thank you ALL for your comments on the subject. I'm glad I'm not the only one that was, and still is, appalled by this video, and the parents that thought it was ok. Kids need to be kids! They already grow up so quickly.
I agree with you. Just like there are age-appropriate songs, there are age-appropriate dances, music, and costumes for kids. Just because the kids wants to dance to that song or do those moves doesn't mean the adults that are supposed to guide them should allow it. The adults in the situation should have put their foot down if they really want what's best for their kids.
I shudder to think how many online predators and child molesters wank while watching this video.
Elle, I'm absolutely shocked at the video. I have an eight year old girl myself and wouldn't ever dream of letting her out on others like that; for heavens sake. aren't they just 'KIDS'? I just don't know what else to say!!
Horrendous....and that's coming from a parent of a 13 yr. old who loved to dance as a little girl.
So it's not long ago that I too, knew the music, helped her practice in the living room, viewed the sweet and pretty costumes. Our dance days were classy, tasteful, sweet and innocent. The way it should be! We continued until she no longer wanted to dance. Parents and family were thrilled at recital time because the performances were so darling. More important, no pressure from the teacher and dance group other than to enjoy the moment with your daughter who happens to enjoy dancing with her friends. What could be better than that?
This group of parents certainly understood the words, worked with the teacher and approved inappropriate dance moves for a primary grade child. No school principal would tolerate those actions from that age at an elementary school talent show! To those parents, you sent a wrong message to those young girls, from song choice, dance moves, and costume attire. The whole thing is wrong! I can't even imaginge the attitude among the girls while rehearsing and what they were thinking leading up to this. To the parent who mentioned he didn't want the world to see this....wake up because someone not trustworthy in your camp did! Now look what happens!
I am so with you! What kind of adult creates a dance like this for grade school girls, costumes complete! And what kind of parent lets this go on and be watched by adults, even by adult family and friends? With all the sex our kids see on tv, all the banalization of this kind of stuff, its no wonder our country is in trouble!
Ok, I just watched the video and apart from the fact that these girsl are talented, I felt like I was watching a stage show for Beyoncé. What really got me was the expressions on those girls faces. Whoever choreographed this piece knew just how sexual - and I could say sexually aggressive - this was because, well, look at their facial expressions. Those were taught by the teacher. Those are not "I'm a 7 year old having fun dancing" looks, those are 2à or 30 something dancers sexually charged looks. Ugh! All they are missing are the poles.
As a mother of a seven year old girl, I cant even begin to imagine my little girl doing this. I am not a prude either but WTF is right. I dont know what context that this Father thinks this is okay in- because there is no context where this would be okay. We are so totally desensitized to all the sex and violence that our kids are exposed to. UGH!
I didnt watch the video. That still shot was enough for me. Major WTF! I never understand when someone says something like "The girls weren't meant to be viewed by millions of people" cause there are things that exist on these video sites called PRIVATE. Yes you can upload videos and use youtube like anyone else but you can also mark videos like this to PRIVATE and send out links to the family and friends who could not be there to participate in the event.
It's the same thing with sites like Facebook. Folks post pics of their kids & then get upset when someone else sees the pics. Privacy settings are a great thing! I personally have everything locked down so only my friends can see stuff. Not even friends of friends can see things on my facebook page. These parents were naive to think that the WWW is soooo huge that no one would ever see this and that this reaction would not be a reality. The WWW makes the world MUCH smaller.